My First Step in Chan Meditation
In September 2013, I moved to Monterey, and met Sister Deng Hai. Her kindness and enthusiasm made me feel warm. She was also the one who introduced me to the Chan meditation class, thus I got to know Meng Yue Laoshi, Jessica, and members of the beginners’ class.
I started to practice Chan meditation with Meng Yue Laoshi, Jessica Laoshi and others in September. First we were given a brief introduction of Chan and also did belly breathing. Gradually, I was drawn to this not-so-big meditation room, and felt calm, pure and strong energy sitting there. As a result, my heart spontaneously followed the rhythm and started to embrace the practice as well as the understanding and changes brought about by the practice. Chan meditation for me was like water in a cup that was slowly, after being stirred, coming to a standstill and calming down; I enjoyed the current moment, whether it was clear or blurred, thick or thin. I didn’t resist, nor did I judge. In the process I came to see myself, and realized the limit and difference in me after each thought.
Following that, we practiced focusing on Mingse Mailun, Mingxin Mailun and Chanxin Mailun.
We first focused on Mingxin on 10/16. In our first practice I sensed red light in my Mingxin Mailun (Heart Chakra) covered by something black, and I also felt a slight stinging sensation there. I shared this with Meng Laoshi after class and he told me that the pain could be due to a knot that blocked energy flow.
On 10/23, when we were focusing on Chanxin Mailun (Chan Chakra), I saw bright white light. I then went downward to observe my Mingxin Mailun. To my surprise, I saw a white lotus flower right there in full bloom. Joy arose in my heart. It was something totally new to me and I broke into a smile.
I shared this with Meng Laoshi later and he commented that the light was very meaningful. This made me more grateful for what I had experienced. Other practitioners in the class heard about this moment with a friendly smile. I thanked them with gratitude. I was just an ordinary person, and I had the opportunity to observe such meaningful light. My heart is clearer about where this light is leading me to. I’ve decided to cherish this connection and to continue to practice with sincerity.
I share my experience with fellow practitioners because I want to work diligently with everyone, and to become a conscientious practitioner driven by a higher calling. I would like to thank all with whom I have connections. You are all my companions in my life-long pursuit.
Donghan (from Beijing, China)